Annoying Intern

We have this annoying intern rotating with us this month. He's going to be one of our anesthesia residents next year. I've heard nothing but negative things about him...immaturity...sexually harrassing nurses...ADHD behavior...you get it. Monday "I got" to have him in my room. At first, I was open and thought I'd give him a chance. Hmph. That got squelched pretty quick. Here's how one of our first conversations went. (just a wee bit creepy and annoying)

Annoying Intern: So are you married or single?
Me: single
A.I. : Are you happy being single?
Me: uh, well... my boyfriend and I broke up a few months ago so this probably isn't the best time to ask me that.
A.I. What does he do?
Me: He's a doctor but he retired way early.
A.I.: Wow! He must be really old! How old is he?
Me: He's not old. Like I said, he retired way early.
A.I. : Why? How old is he?
Me: He made some good investments and now he doesn't need to practice medicine.
A.I.: What investments?
Me: ___(insert answer here)
A.I. : But he's going to run of money and have to go back to work, won't he?
Me: No
A.I.: He's got THAT much money?
Me: yes
A.I.: Did he buy you a car?
Me (amused): no
A.I.: If he was my boyfriend, I'd make him buy me a car!
Me (even more amused): Well, he probably would have if I'd asked him, but that's not the kind of relationship we had.
A.I.: I'd still make him buy me a car! What's he do now?
Me: well right this minute I couldn't say (probably asleep like any sane person would be at this hour), but he researches his investments quite a bit.
A.I. : He's going to run out of money.
Me: I doubt that.
A.I. : why are you using Lactated Ringer's instead of Normal saline for IV fluids?
Me: LR has good stuff in it. NS has a lot of sodium and you can give someone too much.
A.I.: So does LR
Me: yes, but not as much.
A.I. : How come you just have the gas set on 1.0 MAC?

So that's the jist of my morning with Annoying Intern. I love it when people question every thing I do. For a minute I thought I was talking to a 5 year old. Sadly, Annoying Intern is in trouble. He skipped our Wednesday afternoon lecture and went home early. Even after he was paged, he didn't show up to the lecture. This REALLY pissed off Teddy Bear Attending (not a good idea). Tomorrow will be interesting.

I hope I was never like Annoying Intern. I probably was.